Wedding Ceremony, what should it look like-Bayly

Place and Time:

It is clearly stated at the beginning that this wedding is not secret or clandestine; the bride and groom will take their vows with both God and the assembled congregation as their witnesses, and future violations of those vows will carry the weight of condemnation those witnesses imply.  In fact, Malachi 2:14 reminds us that "the Lord was witness" in the marriage covenant "between you and the wife of your youth."

 Weddings were public affairs, involving not simply the union of one man and one woman, but two extended families and their respective communities; the bride and groom were to wed in such a way as to assure the health and continuity, not just of their own home and immediate family, but also the church and civic community.

Traditionally Banns were read, an announcement of intent to marry with a request for anyone knowing why this marriage would be improper, to come forward and declare it.

Words of Institution: 

This is marriage's Scriptural warrant. "Matrimony...is an honorable estate instituted of God in paradise, in the time of man's innocency."

 In this manner pastors declare God's teaching on marriage:

 Monogamous, life-long, heterosexual, husband-led marriage is binding on all people and nations, and Christian judges, legislators and citizens must work, not only to protect these truths from the encroachments of civil law, but also to proclaim them unashamedly in the public square as faithful witnesses to our Lord and His Truth.

 Warning:

By warning against the "carnal lust and appetites (of) brute beasts," the liturgy reminds those assembled that man bears God's image, and that this once-in-a-lifetime step of marriage is to be taken only with the greatest caution and in the "fear of God." There are times to remind Christians of the Father's authority and of the consequences of dealing lightly with His Law. Scripture warns us concerning the danger of taking vows lightly[Footnote 7] and marriage vows today need, again, to be taken in the context of Scripture's warning, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31).

 

Three Purposes of Marriage:

• Part of a wise and reverent approach to marriage leads, here in the ceremony, to a recitation of God's intent for this institution. Historically, the Church has recognized three purposes taught in Scripture, and these purposes have appeared in Protestant statements of faith down through the centuries. Here they are summarized by the Westminster Confession of Faith:

Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife; for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness.

 

 Final Reading of the Banns:

• The pastor here gives one last opportunity for "impediments" to the marriage to be brought forward with the sober warning that, although such impediments may be hidden to the eye of man, God sees all and any hidden matter--such as a prior private promise of marriage given to someone other than their intended--will become clear on the "dreadful day of judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed." 

 Declaration of Consent:

• It always seemed to me that vows are exchanged twice during the wedding liturgy; first, here where the bride and groom are asked whether they will have each other; then again, a few minutes later. Why the duplication of promises?
• Over the centuries, weddings were seen to consist of three non-negotiable elements: parental approval, the free consent of the groom and bride to the impending marriage, and the giving and receiving of promises which finalized the marriage. Other elements were added and subtracted, as need be, but these three remained constant. Generally speaking, parental permission and the free consent of groom and bride were a function of the betrothal, whereas the giving and receiving of promises were the marriage proper, immediately following which the marriage was consummated.

 Transfer of Authority:

 Exchange of Vows:
The vows are the heart of the wedding and here, if nowhere else, it's imperative that the bride and groom have a sense that they are not engaging in a romantic act in which creativity is of paramount significance, but rather submitting themselves to the ages and walking in lockstep with those who have gone before.  ...at such times the meaning of the words "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death us do part" become clear, and nothing else will do.

  That Word 'Obey':

The more I read, the more I became convinced that there simply is no Biblical justification for the removal of the word 'obey' from the bride's declaration of consent and vows. Any summary of Scripture's teaching concerning the duty of the wife and husband, one to the other, must begin with the duty of the husband to "love" his wife, and the duty of the wife to "obey" her husband. 

 ...

• The full article here:

http://baylyblog.com/blog/2005/01/marriage-ceremonies-defend-faith